Some [people] are really smart. You know who you are. Some [people] are really thick. Unfortunately, you don't know who you are.

I think, as a comedian, the funniest you can be is with people you know, and [whom] you've known for years, in a pub. That's as funny as you get, and so the aim [while stand-up] is to get that funny on stage with 5,000 strangers, to get that funny in a room where people shouldn't be listening but they are.

Thank you God for making me an atheist.

Funny bones, to me, are more important than funny lines. If a comedian is just not likable and doing the lines, you could read them yourself. Whereas if someone [you like] shambles out, and they tell you what a bad day they've had, they don't have to say anything. I love them. I want to hug them because they've been through something. And it comes back to empathy, always empathy.

Just looking at all the faces here reminds me of some of the great work that was done this year . . . by cosmetic surgeons.

My favourite shows of the year are House of Cards, the Scandinavian versions of The Killing and The Bridge, and my guilty pleasure is everything MMA. Ultimate Fighter is amazing.

Spirituality really lost its way when it became a stick to beat people with: ‘Do this or you’ll burn in hell.