The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.

I've met many irresponsible people in my life but never an irresponsible cat.

Self-pity is the simplest luxury.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

If Michaelangelo were a heterosexual, the Sistine Chapel would have been painted basic white and with a roller.

American hunting is quite different from English hunting because we don't hunt to kill. Even if I wanted to kill a fox, I couldn't. They're too smart and they have too many ways to escape me, whereas they don't in England.

Cats and dogs believe politicians are like cemetery caregivers; they are on top of everyone, but nobody listens.