Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.

He tried to drown his troubles but they knew how to swim.

I think gay people are like blondes: There're fewer of them but they have more fun.

I believe our concept of romantic love is irrational, impossible to fulfill and the cause of many broken homes. No human being can maintain that rarefied atmosphere of 'true love'.

You're nothing in America if you don't have debt.

While cats can be infuriating, little old women in fur coats, they make me laugh. Of course, dogs, horses and my highly social chickens are dear to me, too.

All creatures tread across the rubble of ruined civilizations. The trick is to keep moving. No animal ever goes about dispensing shallow compassion.