I have to stay true to myself.

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.

I'd played a lot of best friends, and/or bad guys, which seems to be my lot in life. In romantic comedies there's always a best friend and the woman has a best friend and they always antagonise each other and then they end up together at the end of the movie.

It looks like garbage, my ass. But trust me, you're lucky it's not full-frontal.

I've been an Apple guy since the mid 80's and that's when I was like, "Boy, you guys really got me here. I know exactly what you're doing, right down to your price points."

I always fancied myself more of an actor than a comedian before I realized that only assholes make that kind of distinction.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.