I'm a complete egomaniac. It makes me feel terrible to say [being interviewed] is hard. It's taxing in a way. Just 'cause it's a lot of mental energy just to keep focused. I actually think it's harder for journalists.

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

Pat OBrien knows nothing. Hes on the Hell express.

People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is.

I always fancied myself more of an actor than a comedian before I realized that only assholes make that kind of distinction.

If it's January, I'm dead in three hours. But in June, I'd be hungry, but I'd make it out. I'd find my way without a map or compass. I say that with confidence. I can build a fire without a match.