Elderly people, I have found, when they're being honest, are also scumbags, and enjoy a little prurient humour as well.

People moved in across the street and are immediately cutting down a huge tree. Their toothbrushes will know my buttonhole.

I'm a comedian at the beginning and the end of the day. I'm not affiliated with any campaign, nor do I generally find politics interesting enough to plan to be involved.

People say that the largest sexual organ is the brain, and I think the fact that they definitely amuse each other is probably the strongest glue in that relationship.

The danger for a comedian on Twitter is the same danger that any civilian faces: sometimes you gotta put that phone down and go live your life. When you're on Twitter, you're not living, and if you're not living, you're not taking in stimuli with which you can create new material.

Elderly people, I have found, when they're being honest, are also scumbags, and enjoy a little prurient humour as well.

Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they talking about their favorite TV shows, or a particular brand of shampoo?