Elderly people, I have found, when they're being honest, are also scumbags, and enjoy a little prurient humour as well.

Depression taught me the importance of compassion and hard work, and that you can overcome enormous obstacles.

It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.

Don't even FRONT like you love your family, America, or God, if you don't have a DETAILED & REHEARSED Black Friday tactical shopping plan.

I think your ambition for something changes as you go.

It's hard for me to get embarrassed, but the things that do embarrass me would be if anybody ever heard my wife and I talking in our robust, made-up language.

Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they talking about their favorite TV shows, or a particular brand of shampoo?