Politicians, it's in their job description to just lie, every day.

But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodies at the bottom of a mountain.

Well, Mitt Romney is a very attractive comedic target. He’s irresistible to me. I mean seriously, I want to pay less attention to him.

I can't 'make' you love me. But I can fill my pantry with your favourite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.

I'm a comedian at the beginning and the end of the day. I'm not affiliated with any campaign, nor do I generally find politics interesting enough to plan to be involved.

On Twitter, I just want to make you laugh at all costs.

It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.