I don't think of marriage as the drudge work that a lot of sitcoms and movies might have shown it to be, I think it's more deadly murderous rage, unadulterated passion, soul-crushing purgatorial dread... It's more interesting.

Elderly people, I have found, when they're being honest, are also scumbags, and enjoy a little prurient humour as well.

Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes.

In real life, I am alarmingly boring.

A long-term relationship is about showing up and working hard and banking on each other. If one's down, the other might be up and can help the other one up, and sometimes you're both down and you just [band] together. Endurance is a big theme of it for me. That might not sound romantic, but I kind of think that it is.

I use Twitter as a tool to get involved with people, to sell tickets to gigs where I can stand in a room and smell the audience - and I love that!

I'm crazy about Shakespeare, who was a notorious word inventor. And my wife is an English teacher, and she's hilarious.