In high school, I definitely fancied myself an intense guy, which is so lame.

I use Twitter as a tool to get involved with people, to sell tickets to gigs where I can stand in a room and smell the audience - and I love that!

I hate wearing suits and ties.

I don't think of marriage as the drudge work that a lot of sitcoms and movies might have shown it to be, I think it's more deadly murderous rage, unadulterated passion, soul-crushing purgatorial dread... It's more interesting.

My stand-up is far more rooted in reality than my Twitter.

If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo.

The best thing you can do when you're not feeling funny is go out and get more stimuli from the world, get out and walk around, read a book, go talk to some birds or a dog and replenish the well, as it were.