In high school, I definitely fancied myself an intense guy, which is so lame.
Politicians, it's in their job description to just lie, every day.
Elderly people, I have found, when they're being honest, are also scumbags, and enjoy a little prurient humour as well.
If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo.
I hate wearing suits and ties.
On Twitter, I just want to make you laugh at all costs.