On stage, I'm me. I'm a husband, I'm a dad, I'm a guy, I'm a mess - but I am a cohesive thing that you recognize as one human entity saying these things that he generally believes.

On Twitter, I just want to make you laugh at all costs.

I had always loved comedy, and acted out Steve Martin and Bill Cosby albums with my sister for my parents on road trips and stuff, and I loved to laugh and make people laugh.

Well, Mitt Romney is a very attractive comedic target. He’s irresistible to me. I mean seriously, I want to pay less attention to him.

People moved in across the street and are immediately cutting down a huge tree. Their toothbrushes will know my buttonhole.

But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodies at the bottom of a mountain.

It makes me sad that corporations and media and Hollywood conspire to make people feel terrible about their bodies from the second they wake up ,so I sort of try to subversively undercut that.