I took up writing because I needed money. And I continued to write because it's safer than stealing and easier than working.

It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

...a book need never die and should not be killed; books were the immortal part of man.

Cats have no sense of humor, they have terribly inflated egos, and they are very touchy.

Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen. Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.

Of all the nonsense that twists the world, the concept of 'altruism' is the worst. People do what they want to, every time. If it pains them to make a choice - if the choice looks like a 'sacrifice' - you can be sure that it is no nobler than the discomfort caused by greediness... the necessity of deciding between two things you want when you can't have both.

Of all the strange 'crimes' that human beings have legislated out of nothing, 'blasphemy' is the most amazing -- with 'obscenity' and 'indecent exposure' fighting it out for second and third place.