Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

If I don’t start having service I’m going to swap you all for a dog and shoot the dog.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

It's better to copulate than not.

At one time kings were anointed by Deity, so the problem was to see to it that Deity chose the right candidate. In this age the myth is "the will of the people" ... but the problem changes only superficially.

Must be a yearning deep in human heart to stop other people from doing as they please. Rules, laws - always for other fellow. A murky part of us, something we had before we came down out of trees, and failed to shuck when we stood up.

I believe in - I am proud to belong to - the United States.