Some people insist that "mediocre" is better than "best." They delight in clipping wings because they themselves can't fly. They despise brains because they have none.

Of all the strange 'crimes' that human beings have legislated out of nothing, 'blasphemy' is the most amazing -- with 'obscenity' and 'indecent exposure' fighting it out for second and third place.

Premenstrual Syndrome: Just before their periods women behave the way men do all the time.

When the need arises - and it does - you must be able to shoot your own dog. Don't farm it out — that doesn't make it nicer, it makes it worse.

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.

Autobiography is usually honest but it is never truthful.