Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

Streets flooded. Please advise.

A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.

My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly say "I do not play bridge" is allowed to go over in the corner and run the pianola by himself, while the poor neophyte, no matter how much he may protest that he isn't "at all a good player, in fact I'm perfectly rotten," is never believed, but dragged into a game where it is discovered, too late, that he spoke the truth.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.