There is probably not more than one hundred dollars in cash in circulation today. That is, if you were to call in all the bills and silver and gold in the country at noon tomorrow and pile them on the table, you would find that you had just about one hundred dollars, with perhaps several Canadian pennies and a few peppermint Life Savers.

England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example.

Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books

It is one of the most discouraging experiences I have ever had, not forgetting the time when I winked at the Queen Mother in London once.

This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as "regulations" but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.