There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.

Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.

The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

What is the disease which manifests itself in an inability to leave a party--any party at all--until it is all over and the lightsare being put out?... I suppose that part of this mania for staying is due to a fear that, if I go, something good will happen and I'll miss it. Somebody might do card tricks, or shoot somebody else.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born. We are constantly remarking on the fact that things are done well by people other than ourselves. "The Japanese are a remarkable little people," we say, as if we were doing them a favor. "He is an Arab, but you ought to hear him play the zither." Why "but"?