Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

But ice-crunching and loud gum-chewing, together with drumming on tables, and whistling the same tune 70 times in succession, because they indicate an indifference on the part of the perpetrator to the rest of the world in general, are not only registered on the delicate surfaces of the brain but eat little holes in it until it finally collapses or blows up.

[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not.

The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.