A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.

Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.

What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.