A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.

When we think back to our forefathers, with their sedentary lives of forest-chopping, railroad-building, fortune-founding, their fox-hunting and Indian taming, their prancing about in the mazurka and the polka, with their coattails flying and their bustles bouncing, to say nothing of their all-day sessions with the port and straight bourbon,... we must realize that we are a nation, not of neurasthenics, but of sissies and slow-motion sports.

Consider the number of young people all over the world who are getting married, day in and day out, for no other reason than thatsomeone of the opposite sex looks well in a green jersey or sings baritone, and then tell me that divorce has reached menacing proportions. The surface of divorce has not even been scratched yet.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books