I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new school was taking up Silas Marner, with the result that it was the only book in the English language that I knew until I was eighteen--but, boy, did I know Silas Marner!

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

Infants need the most sleep, and, what is more, get it. Stunning them with a soft, padded hammer is the best way to insure their getting it at the right times.

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.