Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books

There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

I once heard a woman laugh at that most tragic moment in all drama, the off-stage shot in "The Wild Duck," and I afterward had her killed, so there will be no more of that out of her.