Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.

A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?

In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one

All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.