An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.

The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.

If only those old walls could talk...how boring they would be.

I can get dressed earlier in the evening with every intention of going to a dance at midnight, but somehow after the theatre the thing to do seems to be either to go to bed or sit around somewhere. It doesn't seem possible that somewhere people can be expecting you at an hour like that.