The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice.

It is one of the most discouraging experiences I have ever had, not forgetting the time when I winked at the Queen Mother in London once.

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is brought up. Forty is Life's Golden Age.

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.