The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice.

The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation.

In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.

You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.

I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.