A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

There are several natural phenomena which I shall have to have explained to me before I can keep on going as a resident member ofthe human race. One is the metamorphosis which hats and suits undergo exactly one week after their purchase, whereby they are changed from smart, intensely becoming articles of apparel into something children use when they want to "dress up like daddy.

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not.