If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.