I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.

In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.

I never knew anyone yet who got up at six who did anything more useful between that time and breakfast than banging a tennis ballup against the side of the house, waiting for the more civilized members of the party to get up.