A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

There is probably not more than one hundred dollars in cash in circulation today. That is, if you were to call in all the bills and silver and gold in the country at noon tomorrow and pile them on the table, you would find that you had just about one hundred dollars, with perhaps several Canadian pennies and a few peppermint Life Savers.

Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.