A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not.

There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.