My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

Work is a form of nervousness.

In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.

All that a spectator gets out of the game is fresh air, the comical articles in his program, the sight of twenty-two young men rushing about in mysterious formations, and whatever he brought in his flask.

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.