Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.

The wise man thinks once before he speaks twice.

But ice-crunching and loud gum-chewing, together with drumming on tables, and whistling the same tune 70 times in succession, because they indicate an indifference on the part of the perpetrator to the rest of the world in general, are not only registered on the delicate surfaces of the brain but eat little holes in it until it finally collapses or blows up.

Charlemagne either died or was born or did something with the Holy Roman Empire in 800.