I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.

There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.

You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

There seems to be a common strain of miserliness in the American people when it comes to throwing away toothpaste tubes which havea little left in the bottom.

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.

The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliverand sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.