Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

Who said time machines haven't been built yet? They already exist. They're called books

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is brought up. Forty is Life's Golden Age.

This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as "regulations" but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

Work is a form of nervousness.

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.