Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

I can remember the day when all that a professor was supposed to do was to mark "C minus" on students' examination papers, then gohome to tea. Nowadays they seem to feel that they must know just how much we (outside the university) eat, what we do with our spare time, and how we like our eggs.

The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.

[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.