I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.

In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.