What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.

Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.

This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.

The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.

Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.