People hear that I am a horror writer and they think that I must be a monster, but actually I have the heart of a small child - I keep it in a jar on my desk.

Mothers sometimes are overly possessive, but not all children allow themselves to be possessed.

We're all not quite as sane as we pretend to be.

A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

I always carry a pistol when I go [to the New York Public Library]. Never did trust those stone lions.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

So I had this problem -- work or starve. So I thought I'd combine the two and decided to become a writer.