In sinners and repenters you have the original division of labor.

The great enemy of achievement is a schedule already full.

Sometimes I wonder — if I were drop-dead handsome, and every woman I met actually dropped dead, would I ever get tired of it?

Whoever dreamed up Scrabble had an exaggerated idea of how many 7-letter words have five i's.

It's a safe bet that someone who tells you you need to calm down has never actually seen you when you needed to calm down.

My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year.

The thing about a friendly smile is not just that it makes people like you but that it makes them like themselves.