After 5,000 years of recorded human history, you wonder, what part of 2,000,000 sunrises doesn't a pessimist understand?

It's like this. Father Time keeps pitching the years at us. We swing and miss at a few. We hit a few out of the park. We try not to take any called strikes.

First God created time; then God created man that man might, in the course of time, perfect himself; then God decided that He'd better create eternity.

According to science, the universe began as a swirl of gas that, as it cooled, spun off the Ten Commandments.

To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word "boo."

Once you find someone to share your ups and downs, downs are almost as good as ups.

Politicians don't lie, they misspeak. And they don't steal, they mispocket.