To accept reality is only to encourage it.

Love is not about grand intentions. It is about small attentions.

When compiling his great dictionary, the young Noah Webster travels to the Himalayas, where he climbs to the cave of the world's wises man. 'O, great sage,' he says, 'tell me the meaning of life.' The sage sits Noah at his feet and, with great solemnity, commences to unfold the meaning of life. When finished, he places a hand on the young man's shoulder and says, 'Do you have any other questions, my son?' Noah flips a page in his notebook and says, 'You wouldn't know the meaning of lift, would you?'

Always laugh off a slight insult, so that people will understand what it means when you're not laughing.

Nowadays you envy a manic-depressive. Half the time he's happy, the other half he's right.

The easiest way to meet people is to just look like someone who is willing to listen.

You spend 90% of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10% trying to convince the Lord that you're actually not that tired.