A cat, after being scolded, goes about its business. A dog slinks off into a corner and pretends to be doing a serious self-reappraisal.

After years of buying clothes I intend to diet into, I'll say this: the skeleton in my closet has some really nice outfits.

The toughest test of good judgment is to know when to withhold your better judgment.

Sometimes, as practice for trying to convince myself that God exists, I try to convince my shadow that the sun exists.

You don't realize how little accuracy there is in network TV reporting until they cover a story in your hometown.

You don't want to get to the end of life's journey and discover you never left the interstate.

In the end you regret less the things you believed that weren't true than the things that never came true because you didn't believe.