The trick to getting ahead is to give it the same effort you give to getting even.

Sometimes, as practice for trying to convince myself that God exists, I try to convince my shadow that the sun exists.

To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word "boo."

You don't realize how little accuracy there is in network TV reporting until they cover a story in your hometown.

Ever get the feeling that sometime early in your life there must have been a briefing that you missed?

A commuter tie-up consists of you — and people who for some reason won't use public transit.

If I choose abstraction over reality, it is because I consider it the lesser chaos.