Sometimes I think my life would make a great TV movie. It even has the part where they say, "Stand by. We are experiencing temporary difficulties.

If God had intended us to be alone, there would be more pleasure in massaging our own shoulders.

An aphorism is a single sentence that totally exhausts its subject.

In the end, who among us does not choose to be a little less right to be a little less lonely.

It's not that perfection cannot be achieved. It's that it's so hard to stop there.

I'm right-handed, whereas the fellow in my mirror is left-handed

The last I heard from my destiny, it wanted me to make a legal U-Turn at my next opportunity.