I don't think I'm in any position to give anybody advice about anything.

Give me a scotch, I'm starving.

I don't like words coming out of a character's mouth that I adore because not only is he a little bit duplicitous but he's kind of practical in the way he thinks, and he thinks in terms of everyone's humanity and how quickly we can go against what we think we meant when we said it or what we believe or blah, blah, blah.

Tofu is the root of all evil, and there's only one thing that can change a man's mind, and that's a modified Uzi with an extra-long clip.

Remember that just because you hit bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.

You know, when you're part of a comedic duo, you can take breaks. It's kind of like having a partner that is good with a kid.

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.