A man who has his initials on his pyjamas must be uncertain of himself. Surely you should know who you are at bed time.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

If the critics were always right we should be in deep trouble.

Show me the man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.

I have little patience with anyone who is not self-satisfied. I am always pleased to see my friends, happy to be with my wife and family, but the high spot of every day is when I first catch a glimpse of myself in the shaving mirror.

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.