I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

A man who has his initials on his pyjamas must be uncertain of himself. Surely you should know who you are at bed time.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

If the critics were always right we should be in deep trouble.

If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Beware of the conversationalist who adds "In other words."