Beware of the conversationalist who adds "In other words."

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Show me the man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.

If the critics were always right we should be in deep trouble.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.