The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.
A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.
To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.
If the critics were always right we should be in deep trouble.
We are articulate, but we are not particularly conversational. An Englishman won't talk for the sake of talking. He doesn't mind silence. But after the silence, he sometimes says something.
I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.