There is little to compare with the thrill of standing next to the creature in the winner's enclosure avoiding his hooves and receiving the congratulations of the press, your trainer and friends who backed it. What makes the experience so satisfying is that you, the owner, have had absolutely nothing to do with the horse winning.

If in the paddock the owner is surrounded by a herd of young children, don't back his horse. But if the owner is accompanied by a beautiful lady, plunge to the hilt.

It is a great help for a man to be in love with himself. For an actor, however, it is absolutely essential.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A man who has his initials on his pyjamas must be uncertain of himself. Surely you should know who you are at bed time.

If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.

We are articulate, but we are not particularly conversational. An Englishman won't talk for the sake of talking. He doesn't mind silence. But after the silence, he sometimes says something.