Middle age: The time when you'll do anything to feel better, except give up what is hurting you.

You aren't really old until nothing is fun enough to make you forget the weather.

Why are congressmen called public servants? You never see servants that anxious to keep their jobs.

The tragedy of ignorance is its complacency.

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back.

If there be anything that can be called genius, it consists chiefly in ability to give that attention to a subject which keeps it steadily in the mind, till we have surveyed it accurately on all sides.

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.