Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'

The idea of having a steady job is appealing.

As intellectual as we think we are, you still trip, we still have human foibles, sexuality, all the different things to still make you aware of your humanity.

Clouds are like boogers hanging on the nostrils of the moon.

Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love.

Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.

Ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them I was crazy about them. Once I held them I was hooked. I am addicted to my children sir. I love them with all my heart and the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them everyday. Well, it's like someone saying I can't have air.