Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you

If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.

We used to be hunter-gatherers, now we're shopper-borrowers.